


i'm heel over head, jet black sky is painted white again

by notthebigspoon



Series: After the Rain [2]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 11:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life isn't fair and neither is the show and Eli doesn't know what to say to make Jonathan feel better.</p><p>Title taken from Heel over Head by Puddle of Mudd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm heel over head, jet black sky is painted white again

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after Sanchez was traded in 2011. Can be considered tied to [ you can feel it in your mind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/477173) but you don't need to read that to read this.

“Where's Jonathan? He wasn't hungry?”

“Home. On the couch. Drinking root beer and eating his third box of lemon cookies. I'm going to have to buy stock in Barqs. They should thank us for keeping them in business.” Eli makes a discontented noise, poking at his bowl of gumbo. They've been home for over a week and this is the second lunch, in addition to two dinners, that Jonathan has refused an invitation to.

“Still upset about the trade?”

“Just what you'd notice.” He answers sourly, not looking at his father. While they play nice, his father and Jonathan have never exactly been fond of each other and his father has lacked sympathy about the subject.

“It's part of the game.”

“Try being told that for most of the year, you'll only get to see Mom a couple times a month and knowing that you have no choice in the matter.”

“He could always quit.”

“You know he couldn't. But of course, that's really freaking easy to say when-”

“Boys. Stop it.” His mom says and Eli shuts up, mumbling a 'yes ma'am' before going back to eating. His father makes a noise and gives Eli an apologetic look. Eli nods. It's as close to an apology as will be offered and he knows his father means it, he'll take what he can get. 

When they've finished eating, his father says something about mowing the lawn and Eli helps his mother clean up the kitchen. He packs away the leftovers and then dries the dishes as she washes them. He remembers what Jonathan said, about getting her a dishwasher, and wonders why he never thinks of things like that. When they finish, his mom pushes him into a chair with a piece of apple pie and a scoop of ice cream, giving him a look that tells him to start talking.

He loves his mom but sometimes she scares him a little. He buries his face in his arms.

“I don't know what to tell him, mama. I try to tell him that it's okay and that we'll make it work, but I'm the one who gets to keep everything we've worked for and stay with our friends while he gets sent to Missouri alone.” He mumbles, peeking up at her. “It's not _fair_. He's depressed, he's angry, he won't leave the house. I thought maybe we should go to Puerto Rico to see his family but he doesn't want to. He hasn't even called them. His dad called me looking for him, his dad never calls me!”

“Are you fighting?”

“We did, once. But not really. It's like... we don't do _anything_ , he just doesn't respond. It's hurting us though. I didn't... this isn't supposed to be this hard. Not even married two years and we're going to get split up like this? What if it doesn't work? What if he changes his mind?”

“Are you going to change your mind, Eli?”

Eli stares. “What? No! Jesus, no, I love him mom. I'm not going to leave and I don't want to him to but... it's so hard.”

“Life is hard and it's not fair, sweetheart. I know you hate hearing that but it's the truth. But you let me tell you something. I've never seen you as happy as you are with Jonathan and when you're not looking, the way he watches you... it's in his eyes, he thinks he's the luckiest man in the world. You love each other and everything is going to be just fine.”

He's allowed to finish his pie before he's scrambled out the door, an extra pie in his hand. It's three blocks north and two blocks east to his and Jonathan's house, it gives him plenty of time to think. His mom isn't wrong. Maybe he's been worried lately but there's never been a point since they got together that he's ever second guessed things with Jonathan. They fight sometimes and they push at each other and they've gone to bed angry, flown to different _countries_ angry but it's never occurred to either of them that they ever wouldn't be together.

Color him crazy but it just never seemed like a possibility.

When he rounds the corner on their block, he's surprised and delighted to see Jonathan sitting on the porch. As he gets closer and heads up the walk, he notes the ever present can of root beer but still. Jonathan's outside and that's progress. He places the pie on the railing as he climbs the steps and settles onto the porch swing next to his husband, leaning in for a quick kiss, the fact that they could very easily be seen be damned.

“The mighty hermit leaves his cave. Someone should call National Geographic.”

“You're a jerk.” Jonathan mutters but he's smiling and he rocks into Eli, not even frowning when Eli steals his root beer for a drink. 

They settle in together, ignoring the chill in the air and just enjoying the quiet. It's still early in the afternoon, no one in sight except Mr. Rowengartner down the street puttering about his yard and raking the leaves. Jonathan hums quietly, tapping his fingers on his knee and his head bobbing to a beat in his head. It's a good sign and gives Eli a pleasantly happy ache in his chest because maybe it was less than two weeks but he hates to see Jonathan unhappy at all and to see him in a semi-good mood again has officially made Eli's day.

“Y'remember the day you convinced me to run away with you?”

“We flew to Boston to get married, I don't think that counts as running away.”

“You bought our wedding rings at the airport.”

“It was convenient and I didn't think of it beforehand.”

“We got all the way there. We're standing in front of the fucking justice of the peace, stuck with Lincecum and Sandoval giggling at each other because you thought we needed witnesses and we didn't and _that's_ when you look at me and ask me if I've changed my mind.”

“I thought if you were smart you might have.”

“What did I tell you, Jonathan?”

Jonathan looks small, like he wonders if he's been an idiot these past few days when he pushed and pushed and they both acted like maybe the other was going to change his mind. “That you were never changing your mind.”

“I'm still not. And I still never will. Because I _love_ you. This whole situation sucks and maybe our life's going to change but that part? Never will. Ever.”

“I'm sorry I've been an ass.”

“And I'm sorry I didn't know what to say.” Eli smiles, resting their heads together. “Promise me you'll start getting out of the house more and we'll forget the whole thing.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jonathan says, cheeks flushing. He leans in for a kiss and Eli indulges him for only a moment. The next he stands up and heads for the door, smiling over his shoulder at the discontented look on his husband's face.

“I think bed's a good idea, don't you think?”

Jonathan's expression changes very quickly, eyes growing dark as he springs up and hurries after Eli.

For all his apparent eagerness and the way he gently nudges Eli along as they head up the stairs, when their bedroom door closes behind them, he takes his time.His hands are slow and gentle, undressing Eli one article of clothing at a time before pressing him back into the mattress, kissing at Eli's neck and worrying that spot right above his shoulder that drives Eli crazy. Every bite and every rocking push inside him makes Eli gasp and dig his fingers into Jonathan's shoulders.

Jonathan's hand moves down Eli's side, nails dragging lightly over Eli's skin before moving between them and stroking Eli in time with his thrusts. Eli presses his head back into the pillow, letting out a desperate keening moan. “Johnny... jesus, _please_ , like that, _more_.”

“Beautiful. Goddamned beautiful.” Jonathan mumbles, crushing their lips together in a slick, bruising kiss punctuated by light bites and drags of teeth. One last bite, just hard enough to bring the faint coppery taste of blood, sends Eli over the edge with a sharp cry, back arching and hips jerking as he comes between them. He sprawls boneless beneath his husband, hands roaming Jonathan's back and hips rocking lazily until Jonathan comes with a gasping moan that Eli swallows with another kiss.

Eli reaches blindly for a discarded t-shirt that had landed on the nightstand, wiping at the both of them as Jonathan pulls out and pitches the condom at the trash can before collapsing back into the bed, head on Eli's shoulder and arm around Eli's waist, breath puffing hot but cool against sweat slick skin. His panting slowly subsides and he pushes closer, one leg tangling with both of Eli's.

“You're everything to me. The best thing in my life. Know that.” Eli mumbles, fingers carding through Jonathan's hair. Jonathan's only answer is a content sigh and a press of lips to Eli's chest.


End file.
